Open Letter

[seedee]

Dear Cold,

What. The. Fuck. There's something I'd like to talk to you about.

This morning I couldn't help noticing that we had -26°C (MINUS TWENTY SIX!!!) (-15°F in case you're American). So I was wondering if maybe you are piss drunk or drugged up to your eyeballs got confused. I'm not trying to be annoying here, just would like to politely point out that this is not Siberia.

Are you fucking telling me, that in a time where the glaciers are melting and the polar bears are dying because they don't have enough ice to walk on, you have nothing better to do than hang around here and try to make my life hell? I'm freezing my arse off.

I was hoping you could reconsider your decision to settle down here, I'm sure there are places where you're needed more.

FUCK OFF!

No Love
seedee

Comments

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

Awww. That sucks. I hate the cold... Luckily it's only about -2 degrees C here.

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

*packs Bikini and sunscreen* I don't know where you live, but I'm on my way!

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

I'm in Maryland, where it is currently above freezing! *does happy dance* Of course, that means it's going to rain. Whenever it gets remotely warm (and it's sad that 4 degrees above freezing feels warm to me), it ends up raining.

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

*gasps* Above freezing!!

It's a bit warmer now here, and that essentially means it's around -15°C. That's still far too cold for me. If this continues, then sooner or later the Atlantic will freeze over and I can walk to Maryland.

[ink-smudged.livejournal.com]

-26!!!!

I thought all known lifeforms died at that temperture. Stay indoors, eat soup, drink alcohol, snuggle up to someone warm?

Or erm, grouse at the weather and tell it to go back to the Poles.

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

Not sure if my boss appreciates snuggling up, but I'll try soup, alcohol and snuggling when I'm at home.