I Hate This Book 2/10

[seedee]

It's time for some Friday afternoon ranting.

This time, I'm not going to introduce a book that calls itself literature. It's urban fantasy, the first one in a series, and never claimed to be anything but a formula-style quick read. This means, I'm not going to complain about the lack of character development or style, or the ineffective use of language, even though you'll find it in heaps. I'm not even going to touch the idiotic views of the main character - because if well written, main characters with idiotic views are fun.

No. What I'm going to complain about is an author who tries to be funny and witty, and manages only to embarrass himself page after page.

Please do not click the link if you expect a well thought-out, unbiased critique.



It's going to be uncomfortable today.

I want to talk about the awkward laughter that ensues when someone makes a really unfunny joke.

I want to talk about that secondhand embarrassment you feel crawling up your spine when someone tells a good joke in such a bad way that the punchline is completely destroyed.

I want to talk about dialogue (real and internal) that falls flat again and again and again.

We're going to wade through puns that don't work, innuendo that's un-witty and banter that's like socks in the washing machine - disappearing into nowhere, not leaving a trace of its existence behind.

I want to talk about Jim Butcher's Storm Front, the first novel of the Dresden Files.

*

"Oh. Is this, um, Harry Dresden? The, ah, Wizard?"

No, I thought, It's Harry Dresden the, ah, lizard. Harry the wizard is one door down.

Seriously. Is this funny? Did Jim Butcher read Douglas Adams and thought, "Hey, I like that. I can do that, too." And then he did it, never realised that he couldn't, and it got published by accident? This is lame. It makes me cry tears of frustration because I know at least a dozen unpublished writers who can do it so much better.

*

A vampire almost tears Harry to shreds, but he escapes and has a nice talk in which he makes her cry (And I'm sitting on my hands here because I'm determined not to write about the plot). Then he says:

I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero. Harry Dresden, breaker of monsters' hearts.

What is this, I don't even... If you've just made a vampire cry, there are two alternatives. Either you make a real good pun, or you go home, take a shower and shut up. While the second choice isn't really exciting, it's at least not as embarrassing as being less funny than Buffy.

*

What about this:
Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.

Bob is a human scull in which a smart-ass spirit lives who likes to joke about Harry's dating habits. There are about twelve hundred jokes you could make out of that. And that's it? If you would make a joke about dating, utilizing body parts you don't have for the punch line, would you go for the hands? Just a thought.

*

But there must be something funny about the following, right? They are standing in the middle of a murder scene and laughing, after all:

"Harry. I guess I just think people are pretty arrogant to believe we've learned everything there is to know in the past century or so. What the hell. If no one wanted to believe in sorcerers and elves and whatnot, it's just like people to close their eyes and rationalize their existence away. I can buy that we're just now starting to see the things around us in the dark again. It appeals to the cynic in me."

"I wish everyone thought like you did," I said. "It would cut down on my crank calls."

She continued to smile at me, impish. "But could you imagine a world where all the radio stations played Abba?"

We shared a laugh. God, that room needed a laugh.

*

I'd like to quote more, but I think Harry Dresden says it best himself:

"What can I say? I put the 'ick' in 'magic.'"

Comments

[tailoredshirt.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Is this, um, Harry Dresden? The, ah, Wizard?"
No, I thought, It's Harry Dresden the, ah, lizard. Harry the wizard is one door down.

Yeah, no. That's the kind of joke I want to hit people for making. I read that book a few years ago, and I don't remember much about it. Honestly, I was entertained enough to read the whole thing (although that's not really saying much, since I read it at work, and pretty much anything is entertaining if you're stuck in the heat by yourself for 4 hours), probably because I just kind of ignored the humor and read for the magic and mystery stuff. I do remember that it was definitely not very funny, as hard as it tried, and the excerpts you posted are definitely the embarrassingly awkward brand of "humor" that I really dislike in books. I saw the Dresden Files TV series on the Sci-fi Channel, and I enjoyed it, though. I think the characters were more likable on the TV show, but I could be misremembering that as well. This is the sort of thing that happened to me with Twilight when I first read it. I read the first 2/3 of the book without thinking too much about it either way, and then I put it down and got distracted by other things and when the co-worker that had recced it to me asked if I'd liked it, me reaction was, "It was okay, but I didn't really like it." I mostly just thought it was boring, more than anything else. I think so much of it just didn't even register the first time because I wasn't thinking about it critically. It was only when it really started getting popular that I started thinking about why I didn't really like it and my loathing for the series started to grow.

ANYWAY, I'm rambling and not making any sense. Basically I agree with you and want to know if you have any recommendations for other urban fantasy or fantasy-mysteries. :)

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

That made perfect sense to me. I've been through that same inner monologue about twenty times while justifying to myself why I continued reading the book.

Do you know China Miéville's Bas Lag series? Try 'The Scar' if you haven't read it yet. It's more steampunk than urban fantasy, but it's excellent.

I adore Terry Pratchett. He's got some novels you could almost call urban fantasy.

Tanith Lee's 'The Secret Books of Paradys' is a lot of shades darker and heavier, but I'm very fond of it. It features vampires of the non-cuddly kind.

Urban fantasy is such a difficult genre. If you have any recs yourself, I'd love to hear them.

[tailoredshirt.livejournal.com]

I actually don't have any recs. :( Most of the fantasy I read is teen or children's fantasy, and I've been trying to find good adult urban fantasy but it seems to be a hit-or-miss field. Even the bit of teen urban fantasy I've read - including Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments series, which I hated - has been hit or miss. To be honest, I'm not even sure if adult urban fantasy is a genre I am really going to like, but I'm intrigued. My impression of the genre is that most of it falls under the header of paranormal romance/erotica, perhaps because I see a lot of covers featuring women wearing leather and other outfits befitting a dominatrix. I assume that I am just not looking in the right place!

Gah, sorry, rambling. I have some of China Mieville's stuff at home, but I've never read any. I just googled the Bas Lag series, and this is definitely where I'm going to start! I do like steampunk, so this looks good. I think my problem is that I just don't know much about adult fantasy writers and therefore don't know much about what they write. I work at a tiny bookstore, and most of the fantasy we carry is for children and teenagers, so I tend not to be aware of most adult fantasy in general. I think I need to do some exploring. :) Thank you for the recs. I will let you know when I read them so that we can discuss!

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

There are some really good books, but it's like you said, you have to wade through the romantic love story crap that mostly features super-tough girls falling in love with either vampires or werewolfs. It's annoying at best.

I have an extensive bookshelf by now, though, and there is good fantasy. Sometimes you have just to be stubborn and keep reading :P

I'd love to hear what you think about Miéville.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I've had more than a few people suggest 'The Dresden Files' to me, and I never made the effort.

God, talk about laziness being a blessing in disguise. What awful puns. The wizard/lizard thing just makes me cringe.

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

It's not worth the effort. I've heard so many mixed things that I got curious. But I didn't read past that first book.

[thimble-kiss.livejournal.com]

Ack. The jokes remind me of that cheesy guy who hosts America's funniest home videos (he makes me cringe!) which is a pity, since the narrative style has pseudo-noir pretentions and tries to convince us it's Humphrey Bogart. Fail.

(By the way, have you read the Artemis Fowl books? Talking about YA fantasy and humour, those are funny. Laugh out loud funny!)

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

No, I don't know the Artemis Fowl books. I admit that my knowledge in YA fantasy isn't all that extensive; I gravitate to the adult section usually. I like it dark and gritty. But I keep those in mind.

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

I've never read any of the Dresden Files books, but I know a couple people who adore them. Now I worry about their observational skills.

In terms of urban fantasy, my go-to is Tanya Huff. Summon the Keeper (and its two sequels) is AMAZING. Quirky, intelligent humor that's funny on several layers, and interesting characters and plots, awesome use of language, etc. I can't recommend her enough. She has a ton of other books too, ranging from military sci-fi to 'classic' fantasy (which is sooo much better than the typical) to short stories.

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

You didn't miss anything. I've only read the first one, but I found it lame. The main character is a chauvinistic idiot who doesn't look all that good and is not very witty (or smart). And yet, every good-looking woman seems to throw herself at him. The plot made me facepalm a lot. So the only thing that could have saved the book would have been a strong and funny/sarcastic narrator. No such luck.

I've read one novel of Tanya Huff. I found her close to Laurell K. Hamilton and Charlaine Harris [SP] and wasn't overly impressed. Maybe I should give it another try. I haven't read Summon the Keeper yet. Does it have a witty heroine with supernatural powers who saves the world and falls in love with a supernatural being?

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

I've never read any Hamilton or Harris, so I can't compare them to Huff, aside from the fact that their last names all begin with H.

It does have a witty heroine with supernatural powers, but she doesn't save the world all by herself and she falls in love with a human. There's also a hole to hell in the basement that speaks in all caps, which is kind of my favorite thing ever.

Which Tanya Huff book did you read? If it was one of the Blood books, I can see how you might not be impressed - they're good quick/fun reads, but in my opinion her other (less popular) books are waaay better.

[vanseedee.livejournal.com]

It's the H-conspiracy! :D

A hole in the basement that speaks in all caps. You just sold that book. I'm going to try it and report back.

I couldn't remember the title, so I had to raid through my book shelf. It was 'Blood Trail'. I don't hated it, but it was kind of bland.

I'm very intrigued by that hole in the basement.

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

Success! Let me know what you think.

Yeah, I think I took that one with me on vacation. Good for airplanes/train stations/random relaxing, but not the most gripping stories. The Smoke books, which feature a lesser character from the Blood series, are better in my opinion.